18 months of motherhood.

today marks the day I held my girl for the first time.
saw her face.
kissed her cheeks.
fed her.
counted her ten fingers. and ten toes.
named her the name we talked about just three weeks before she was born. audrey. it suited her so perfectly. and it just fit.

in the 18 months since that day, motherhood has and continues to be one of the most fulfilling and joyful callings.

I have heard her first words.
I have watched her take her first steps.
I have rejoiced at the miracle of a 8 hours of sleep and then 12.
I have kissed boo boos.
I have given hundreds of hugs and snuggles.
I have cleaned up even more messes.
& with each of these things. there has been joy.

joy that cant be explained, only experienced.

(photo credits: miss kristen)

my girl, your daddy and I adore and love you.
there isnt a day that goes by that we dont thank God for you.
every day we have with you is a gift.
& that is whats real.

late walker. early talker.

little a had her 15 month appointment yesterday and it was confirmed that she still is our little peanut, weighing in at 18lbs, 8 oz (3%) and 29 1/2 in long.

she has no interest in walking at this point. although we are hoping that will change in the months to come. there are times when walking is a joy:

and then there are times when walking really isn't:

she is really ok with walking if you are holding both of her hands and she can cruise along with your help and the minute you let go of one hand, down she goes, and in this case its all tears with the walker. bottom line, she wants to do it on her own, and as a mom, I figure why push her to do something she just isn't ready for. 

we are pretty confident that she is capable of doing it especially after she climbed up on the couch, by herself, this week. 

she likes to go at her own pace. and for these times, I'm grateful, because it helps me get to know my girl better. her personality traits are coming out more and more as the days pass. and so we've concluded, shes a talker, not a walker. her love is of the verbal and she seems to be content with the way she gets around now, by lightning crawling wherever she goes. her vocabulary seems to have expanded leaps and bounds in the past two weeks and I am loving it. each day brings many opportunities to teach new words and its the most amazing thing, when you point at an object and she says it back to you clear as day. 

and speaking of words...I finally used all my letters in words with friends (the equivalent of using all of your tiles in scrabble). it was a pretty good feeling. I'm not going to lie. the game isn't over yet, kendra could still come back, but its not looking good.

the sweetest little meep you ever did see.

can we be done now Mom?
(mad props to Uncle the Ky and Matt for her super cute American Apparel birthday outfit)
(and super mad props to our favorite Kristen for the wonderful photos)

ONE

All week long I've been wanting to post this picture, but knowing that I really wanted to wait til I did your birthday post (one day late) to use it. It so perfectly captures how in love and in awe we were that God gave you to us.

From the moment I saw your face, you changed my life and I will never be the same. You were my babe that made me a Mommy. You gave me my new job description. You helped me learn what it means to know joy in the mundane, to give of myself without expecting anything in return, to be patient in training you to know whats right and this past year has been one of the best of my 27 years.

Getting to know you has given me a sense of wonder of our Creator, how He made you, formed you, and all the incredible developmental stages along the way. This year you learned so many things: how to laugh, hug, wave hello and goodbye, say Mama and Dada (and so many other words), crawl, eat food on your own, point at things you want, and the list goes on. I have so enjoyed watching you at every stage and each month that rolls around you outdo yourself, because I find myself saying with every new thing, "this age is my favorite." Really I think its my favorite, because I am spending my time with you. Apart from Daddy and Jesus I love you the most.

I didn't blog on your birthday because Daddy reminded me that in the midst of all the preparations and craziness to stop and enjoy you. I am so glad I did. Life will pass us by if we don't stop for moments like that. There will always be a to do list and things to check off, but you will not always be a baby who wants to be held, fed, cared for and nourished by Daddy and I. Our time with you is short in the grand scheme of things. Some day, hopefully, you will go off, get married and pass on the things to your babies that we have given to you.

Audrey, no amount of kisses, hugs, or words cannot fully express the love we have for you. We are so glad you were born. That you are a part of our lives. That God gave you to us.

Happy birthday my sweet Meepies!

A's b-day week day 6

It's a busy birthday week this week. Call me crazy, but here is what has been on the agenda for our celebration coming up this Saturday.

- go to soc. sec and legally change my name so I can officially be Mrs. Remsnyder. check.*
-finish sewing fabric bunting birthday banner. hang. check.
-scrounge together branches. spray paint white. check.
-rearrange dining room for the b-day celebration. check.
-make cookie jars. check.
-food shop for all birthday food items. mostly check.
-change sheets on guest bed. check.
-pick up Mom (she arrives today, hooray!)
-wish a very dear Casey a happy birthday. check. (and for the record you are more than a to do list item, just a special shout out to a very dear friend)
-Becca's birthday dinner tonight. cannot forget coupon.
-make a bazillion cookies and sweets. of various varieties.
-pick up 150 pounds of cow meat. no, I'm not kidding. God just has a sense of humor and really just needed to make this week even more memorable.
-maybe squeeze in a trip to Sams because it just so happens that we ran out of trash bags this week and of course I realized we were running out just after I got home from Target yesterday.
-assemble party favors. tie with pretty ribbons. put in baggies. check.
-bake said cookies. ice cupcakes. make candy apples. the only thing I have ever done before is make cookies, so no promises on the taste and aesthetic of other said items.
-bake and ice birthday cake for family b-day celebration. we'll see if this happens. it might take a small miracle at this point.
-vacuum. clean. need I say more?
-collapse.

Annnnddd. She's only one. I think I've outdone myself. Topped myself really. Pray for the future birthdays of our kids because I am starting to wonder if they will be equally inspired and creative.

Oh and Thanksgiving is next week. No big deal right? But in the midst of all this the reality set in. Audrey's birthday will always be the week before Thanksgiving. Bring on the craziness and the fun.

Pictures. Stories. And more to come. Stay tuned.
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*funny story behind this. This time last year it was on my to do list of things to do before Audrey was born, but I went into labor a week early. Not what I was quite expecting being a first time Mom.

A's b-day week day 5

We knew from the moment our girl let out her first cry that she had a little diva in her. And lets just say that she was "that baby" you could hear crying all the way down the hall in the hospital.

So if you ever think our girl is happy all the time. You are wrong. Dead wrong. But she is happy most of the time. And for that we are so grateful.

She really has changed a lot since those early days, once a cranky little infant, and now an incredibly joyful girl. Had someone told this first-time Mom that in my early days I might have not despaired. I was a little in over my head with all her tears at times and sometimes when I couldn't figure out what was wrong I just wanted to cry with her, but good moments and bad, we wouldn't trade our girl for anything. She has taught me so much. The importance of patience and faithfulness, love and care, and sacrifice.

God gave me joy to care for my girl, in so many moments.

Who pooped on her lampshade and left Mommy a mess to clean up.

Who kept me up from 10:30pm-1:30am wanting to clusterfeed all night long.

Who's witching hour just happened to be when I needed to start dinner and Daddy was walking in the door from work.

Who was a slow gainer to start, but who made up for lost time and chunked up in her own way by at least staying on the charts.

Who gave me a run for my money on her first flight out West. I would have died on that 5.5 hour flight if Jess hadn't come with me. She screamed for a bit and lets just say the old lady next to me would not stop talking to me about breastfeeding and asking me "are we there yet?" about 25 times. I'm not kidding.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the sting of life before a baby, sleeping in, having time just Seth and I, and financial comfort. But all those things do not compare to this past year with our darling girl, because really there is so much more happiness in giving of oneself than always receiving.

A's b-day week day 4

my girl. you are loved. by so many.