Racks and racks of shoes, women's shoes, can numb the senses. Can you picture a lovely young woman walking, stumbling rather, through racks and racks of shoes with one shoe on and one shoe off, in her hand, mouth partly open, eyes glazing over, ears deaf to the world around her? If so, then you pictured my love at Nordstrom Rack a few nights ago. Few words can strike terror into a husbands heart like the words: "Honey, I'll just be in the shoe section...", especially when strolling through the Rack. And this night at the Rack was unlike any other I've experienced thus far in marriage with Janet Kay.
Here's how it all went down. Keep the picture of Janet in your mind, it's no exaggeration. As lovey was shoe gazing, her husband heard the anouncement, "Nordstrom Rack is now closed." He immediately caught up with her and encouraged her to wrap up the shoe gazing so the Remsnyders could leave. With no emotion, without ceasing to stare, without looking up, and in a monotone voice, lovey said: "But lovey I don't know where my shoe is." At first I laughed. I thought she was kidding. Then I realized that she was serious. She was in such a shoe trance, unlike any other trance I have seen shopping women caught in, that she left her shoe on the floor several aisles back. No problem right? Not at the Rack! There are shoes everywhere! All over the floors! Hundreds of them! Still no problem right? Wrong! The shoe salesman was walking directly behind us cleaning up all of the shoes behind us! There were no shoes on the floor, Janet's shoe was somewhere on the shelves of Nordstrom Rack. I panicked. In an anxious voice I asked if she was serious, she said she was. I told her that the store was closed and that we had to hurry and tear the aisles apart to find her shoes! She, again without blinking, told me that the store wasn't closed and that they were open until later. I couldn't believe it! She was still shopping! She had never stopped! Even when she realized she had lost her shoe she continued to shop! And now she was contending that the store was still open even after the announcement over the loudspeaker. I ran and grabbed the salesman and asked him if he saw my wife's shoe. He gave me a priceless look. He charitably said no. I implored him to help us look. Together we began to search as my wife continued to shop. Finally, after the second announcement over the loudspeaker my wife believed me that the store was closed. I can't remember anything else from that point. I think she found her shoe. I was laughing too intensely to notice. Meet Janet Kay. I am so in love with her.