thoughts on being a mom.
Rewind 5 years ago, ambitious, bright eyed college junior, sitting a women's studies class at GW and the professor polls the class of 60 (mostly girls) and asks "who wants to go back to work after they have children and continue a career?" 55 girls raise their hands. "Who wants to stay home and raise a family?" my lone hand goes up and people in the front row turn around to stare. It was one of my most awkwardly proud moments of naivete. I always knew I wanted to be a Mom, I just never knew all it would take to be one. And especially to be one who stays home.
This past week little A has been sick all week and I have been keenly aware of many "have nots" in my day and my life, but also how much joy there has been in the "have nots." Of the many things I have traded for a life less glamourous, less congratulating, but oh so fulfilling and blessed in being a Mom to my girl.
I went a whole day without showering. Holding a sick baby seemed sweeter.
I've traded designer jeans for yoga pants. And thats a good day, because yoga pants are def a step up from pajamas.
My purse is my diaper bag now. Keeping it clean really doesnt matter, because when you are in a pinch having that extra diaper is way more important then less stuff.
I've traded sleep for 3am feedings and rocking. Because really, as much as I love sleep, holding a sleeping baby girl in your arms is so much better.
The one day I did actually get dressed, A puked all over the place and I learned who cares, clothes are just clothes anyways. And really how can you say no to the baby who reaches her arms out for you even if she is covered in puke?
I don't claim to know much, I realize I am just at the beginning of this adventure, that my experiences so far dont speak that loud and I know there is so much more that lies ahead. But these are moments and things I dont want to forget, I want to remember them always because times like these are so fleeting.
And at the end of the day, tiredness and all, there is so much joy in the little moments like these when your baby girl finally wants to play again and you cant help but get down on the floor to play with her.