An explanation of silence.

This blog has sat idle and ignored almost a whole year. When I started this little blog of mine I never could have imagined stepping away for so long only to never want to return again. Or maybe, just for now.

My life these days is full, raising two kids, expecting another one and being a wife, using my mind creatively and simply surviving the day are my top priorities. And in a blessed way it doesn't leave a lot of time for this little blog of mine.

My intentions in starting this blog was to share our lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And truth be told, sometimes things aren't made to be shared or talked about just because you have a platform to speak from. The Internet, blogs, and social media have made me tired. Sometimes it just feels like an endless gong of opinions, feelings, hurts, passive aggressive jabs and talking about other people, DIY projects and pretty homes with all white walls. It's honestly been hard to see the good in it for me. I've needed a break from it all. From caring what other people think and caring about how other people live their lives.

I stopped writing on this blog and I stopped reading blogs (with a few exceptions).

It was the best decision for me.

I needed to breathe fresh air.

I needed to "unplug."

I needed to not care about what's next exciting meal was that I wanted to share or what party I was going to plan or how I was going to redecorate my house next, without the desire for praise and a pat on the back from those who read that honestly made my life look a lot "cooler" and better than it really is.

Simply put, I just needed to live, and I didn't need to invite the watching world into it. And don't get me wrong, blogs have their place, but for me and for this time, they're not for me.

I wanted and needed time for real relationships and I found spending that time rather than writing was most beneficial for me.

This past year has taught me a lot. I'm not as trusting as I once was and I want to really know the people I surround myself and my children with.

At the end of the day, when you strip away the facade, the platform, the stories, the projects, the meals, the pretty things, we are all just human. I have real problems, raw emotions, "good days and bad days," and the truth is sometimes I don't take a shower. I love my kids, my husband, and the home we've built together. I love that our front door is always open. I love Jesus and I live for a good deal. I love grace. I love to throw parties, I love to decorate, I love to cook. I'm a loyal friend to the death and I cannot stand a liar.

I treasure this newfound privacy and quietness I've found this past year and the lives I have invested myself into and people who have invested themselves in me. I love that our life hasn't consisted of fancy meals or many DIY projects. I love the simplicity of it. I'm grateful for real conversations. For sharing my life with those I am closest to and not an audience of unknowns and silent lurkers.

This blog will probably sit untouched for the time to come. The motivation to pick it up again still hasn't returned. But it was nice to get in an update for now. To share my heart, because I want to remember this time as much as all the other times I have shared through the years on here.

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